how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Sacagawea was the original milf.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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