erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
