Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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