I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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