yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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