I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
