so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Bang-toberfest begins!!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
