Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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