Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
