Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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