Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
