My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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