I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize