we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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