don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize