You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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