I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
