I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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