Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
