Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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