The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
