Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I want her autograph on my taint
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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