Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
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Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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