i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
