What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
