you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
