I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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