peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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