maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
