I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
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your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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