So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The ass gains better be worth it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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