ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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