Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize