I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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