youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
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