just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
