Do you still have your period?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize