I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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