Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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