You're so nebulous sometimes
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
