I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think i got beer on your cat.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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