Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
