You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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