i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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