Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
