Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
