Is it because I queefed?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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