This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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