His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
