she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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