While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize