the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
