Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
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he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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