i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
