a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
