Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
