tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
