we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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