I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
