Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
foreskin is a definite game changer
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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