And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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