Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dick very happy bro
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
