is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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