he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
