Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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