anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
